COLD KISS by John Rector

I watched an online interview with author John Rector about his first novel to be published in the UK, Cold Kiss, and was determined to read it at the earliest opportunity as good words are spreading fast about this great, tight, suspenseful tale.

Comparisons have been made linking it to The Shining and A Simple Plan, amongst others, making the novel all the more intriguing as to what is actually would be and what the central theme is.

The book jacket, seen here, with the tagline “Fear never travels alone…’ again leaves the reader somewhat open as to whether this is going to be a straight crime novel, something tinged with the supernatural or something else entirely.

As has been customary with me of late, I always try to get the first twenty pages or so of a new book underway the night of finishing a previous title – with Cold Kiss I was 65 pages in before drawing breath.

The tale was made all the more spooky when, at the halfway point, I mentioned on twitter what a great book it was so far, and got a direct message back from the author saying he was pleased I was enjoying it – a very surreal moment but a sign of these technological times I guess.

In fact, technology is the only thing I would take slight issue with as, the novel appears to be in present day, and yet there were moments, particularly at the beginning, where I wondered why there were no mobile phones used. But that is such a minor gripe in what was an absolutely cracking read from beginning to end.

The story is that of Nate and Sara, a young couple seeking a new life for themselves who happen upon a sick man, Syl, in a diner at the start of a heavy snowstorm. The early scenes of the Syl’s suffering
Made me wonder if this was going to be a virus based tale – possibly something along the lines of The Stand.
But then the story twists and Syl becomes a mysterious hitchhiker in their car – instantly recalling the evil acts of a certain Rutger Hauer in that classic movie – but, even then, the author manages another twist involving two million dollars in the dying man’s luggage – and suddenly we’re into A Simple Plan territory – but it doesn’t end there.

In Cold Kiss, you get a tale of revenge, mystery, horror, action, thriller, mysterious motel, meth dealing and an anti-abortion campaigner, plus a small cast trapped by a heavy storm all thrown into the mix. And it is all so finely crafted that I genuinely had no idea what twist was about to come next.

The characters are very well drawn for a relatively short novel and created real sympathy with this reader for their plight and the decisions they have to make along their journey through the story.

Simon Kernick’s quote on the cover pretty much says it all; ‘You know something bad’s going to happen and just have to keep reading…’
I’d agree with that entirely, but would add that I had no idea just how many bad things were about to happen and just what a twisty-turny ride John Rector had set me on from the first page.

It’s not strictly speaking John Rector’s debut novel – that was his self-published The Grove as an Amazon Kindle download with #1 bestselling results – but this first UK paperback release is clearly destined to play a major calling card for him.

In short…I loved it (just wish I’d written it).

Published in paperback by Pocket Books – Simon & Schuster UK.
£7.99


Keith B Walters

Summer Reading Challenge Book 2 - ASSASSIN - by Tom Cain

This is only the second in my Summer Reading Challenge from Transworld – although I am not actually convinced that we have had a Summer, so the image of the deckchair I was sent for this project seems slightly out of place as I look out onto rivers of rain water flowing down the road outside.

Nevertheless, I am embarrassed that both of my kids have completed their six book library reading challenges, whilst I’m lagging behind – please don’t let them know ☺

And so to Assassin, the third book from Tom Cain to feature his Special Boat Service Operative, and all round action hero, Samuel Carver.

All concerns that I’d missed the first two books in the series (The Accident Man & The Survivor) were quickly washed away as I ploughed into the book on the first night I opened it and the pace rarely lets up throughout.

The comparison by the Guardian to the Bourne movies is very fair as Carver cracks through the action sequences and events in the book barely pausing for breath. In Assassin he is the constant victim of an old enemy and former colleague, Damon Tyzack, who is determined to frame him for crimes and acts of terrorism, culminating in a planned assassination of the American President Lincoln Roberts. Roberts has set himself a whole army of enemies in his proposal for a war on people-trafficking and slavery, which he is scheduled to announce at a conference in Bristol.
The action sequences, particularly the set-up of a bomb blast in an Oslo Hotel, are excellently handled and gripping, with the author successfully placing the reader right in the centre of the action and the tension.
In fact only one scene didn’t quite work for me when Carver stepped (or cycled) into a bit more James Bond meets Jackie Chan role, leaping a skip on a bicycle – but a very minor gripe for one scene on one page out of over 500 other amazing ones.

On my ‘to be read’ pile now are the first two Carver books and the new hardback, Dictator – looking forward to more high octane thrills.


Next on the Summer Reading Challenge schedule is Lock Down by Sean Black (saw him at Harrogate and really looking forward to reading that one anytime soon).

Keith B Walters

Love Books? - Love Book Signings and Events.

I love to read - that kind of goes without saying but, there I’ve said it anyway.
But I also love to meet authors, to hear them talk about their work and to have them sign their books to me.

Maybe it’s in someway a hope that some of whatever magic formula they possess will transfer itself to my own writing somehow.
All around my writing desk are framed copies of what authors have written by way of encouragement to me to get on with my own books, Ian Rankin, John Connolly, Mark Billingham, John Harvey to name but a few.

It’s John Harvey’s comment that takes pride of place; written around his own title page it reads ‘Okay Keith, remember NOW’S THE TIME ! – Don’t waste it !!’.
The one from Stuart MacBride that says ‘To Keith – Grow the rest of the beard’ is placed a little further away from my line of sight.

I cannot remember which was my first signing event but I suspect it may well have been one at Forbidden Planet to get Clive Barker to sign books for me. Meeting him several times were certainly some of the most memorable signings – particularly for the launch of his movie Nightbreed and all of his novels close to that launch. It was held at the Café Munchen at the rear of where the London FP used to be based. I went early with a bunch of friends and queued for ages clutching a brand new leather briefcase full of his books. The case was a gift from my godparents (thinking I’d need it for an office job one day) – my friends just mocked and made comment that I might as well get Barker to sign it as it contained all his books.
So, when my turn came, I did exactly that and, after he cracked a few jokes about doing a Nightbreed luggage deal with Samsonite, he kindly signed and illustrated the front of the briefcase with a unique monster head image – truly a one of a kind item now and a prize possession.

But whether it was Stephen King or James Ellroy at the Royal Festival Hall, the countless list of great names each year at Harrogate, Reading and the Crimefest events, or individual author events at bookstores, I have treasured the memories of each and every one of them, and the signed books I have left with.

There have been times where I’ve missed out on more good stuff after an event – leaving early only to find that John Connolly took a whole group of fans out for dinner and drinks for his 40th birthday after an event was one such regret.
But, I have never come away from one feeling anything other than even greater respect for the authors that I read and their books that I love.

If all you do is read your favourite authors, you are really only getting some of the story. To get all of it, you really should get out there and meet them.

Keith B Walters

CAPTURED - by Neil Cross

Published by Simon & Schuster


Can Neil Cross do no wrong?
The evidence suggests maybe not.
I’ve been a fan of his great storytelling in BBC’s SPOOKS series for some time and, more recently, really enjoyed his new detective series LUTHER starring Eldris Elba from The Wire.

But, I have neglected the other strand to this creative force – his novels.

Now, having experienced the all-consuming new book, CAPTURED, that is set to change and I will be seeking out all of his other books trusting that they are also as good as this.

It’s been a while since I picked up a book intending to read maybe the first chapter before sleep and finding that I was 65 pages in without remembering to blink between those pages.

In CAPTURED he kicks off with a great young character, Kenny, and a numbing realisation that he is living on borrowed time with an aggressive brain tumour threatening to snatch him away from his life within weeks.
Kenny doesn’t start off angry – instead he writes a short list – a list of people he feels he needs to make things up with, before he leaves.
In a way it’s like his bucket list, but a list of appreciation he needs to show, of people who have shaped his life.
He begins with a young boy who he witnessed at risk of abduction years before and then a shopkeeper who chased the would-be abductor away – he just wishes he had done more at the time, but the guilt is his own and everyone else has forgotten the event which still seems so important to him.

His ex-lover Mary also appears on the list, as does the most important name on it, Callie Barton – a girl he knew at school, the girl who used to hook her leg round his under the desk – as close to a childhood sweetheart as he likely had.

And it is when Kenny begins to look for Callie that the story really kicks into overdrive and Kenny’s anger strikes.
Callie has gone missing.
Her husband, Jonathan Reese, although cleared of any involvement and denying any wrong doing, appears to be hiding a secret.
Kenny’s time is running out and his quest to find the answer and to punish whoever is responsible for Callie’s disappearance or possible murder grows in his head as fast as the tumour alongside it.

There are some brutal scenes within the novel – as the cover would suggest – but this does not quite step into the ‘torture porn’ that the same excesses would or might create on screen. We as readers sympathise with Kenny’s situation and we are right beside him as he does what he feels he needs to do to further his investigation and search for the truth.

An unsettling, at times moving, and thought-provoking crime book and a demonstration on just how far a normal guy can be forced to go to search for justice and to find out what has happened to someone who meant so much to him all during his final weeks of life.

Okay, I’m off to find some more Neil Cross books now…..to pass the time until a second series of Luther appears on our screens (which I trust won’t be long).


Keith B Walters

Interview with David Gatward

An Interview with David Gatward .
Author of the exciting new horror trilogy for younger readers;
The Dead, The Dark and The Damned.

_________________________________________________


Following my earlier review of the first of David’s new novels, The Dead, he kindly agreed to answer some questions about his books and his love of horror movies.

Enjoy the interview and then get out there and buy the books….

KBW: Are you a big Clive Barker fan? I wondered, as the first appearance of Red and his flesh being added to his flayed body I thought as a tribute of sorts to Frank Cotton in The Hellbound Heart and the Hellraiser movies.

DG: Yeah, I’m a fan. The Damnation Game, and The Hellbound Heart are tremendous. The Books of Blood are equally great. Barker has a real lyrical touch to his writing, and a darkness that few can match. Were that my mind were as fertile! And the movie ‘Hellraiser’ was one of those movies that really made me sit up and go, “Wow! Horror rocks!” I just love all the hidden agendas of the characters, and the backstories, and the fact that the monsters don’t just turn up and mash people up and then disappear, but that they’ve something behind it all, a motivation, but a humanity, too. And I love that scene in Hellraiser where Frank Cotton rebuilds himself from drops of blood. Amazing stuff! I wanted that kind of thing, that kind of vivid picture, and I loved the idea of a creature pushing itself through that amount of pain on purpose.

KBW: Was The Dead planned as a trilogy from the outset, or at what point did you realise you had a bigger story to tell than could be told in one book?

DG: Yep, was always planned as such. Couldn’t do it as a one-off. Thing is, as I’ve been writing it, the story’s got bigger in that I can see how it’ll go beyond three. Obviously this sequence concludes. It has to; there’s a lot in it to bring to an end. And Lazarus needs closure if he’s to do anything else, as do the other characters. So I’ve got ideas for a further three, and would ultimately love to do nine. Fingers crossed…

KBW: Do you have plans worked out for what you will do next, after this trilogy has all been published and your publicity trail for all three is complete?

DG: I’ve a lot on all over the place so I’m just busy throughout really. I’m doing something as part of the schools events for the Bath Children’s Literature Festival this year, I’ve got a book tour being put together at the minute to support the launch of The Dark, and I want to do as many library and school events as I can, get out and meet people and that kind of stuff. While all that’s going on, I’m heavily in to a ghost writing deal that I have with another publisher, which is pretty intense, and I’m developing a number of other ideas and projects. There’s no way I can just look at The Dead as the way to make it; I need to keep coming up with stuff, getting ideas developed and then bought by publishers. It’s a risky business and I’m lucky to be in it at all. But the only way I can seriously make it work is to just keep working and never depend on one project as ‘the one’ if you know what I mean. Mind you, it would be great if The Dead really did do brilliantly. And feedback is great so far…

KBW: Do you have a particular writing regime (such as a particular writing place or time, or a daily target of words?)

DG: I write from between eight and nine in the morning to mid-afternoon Mon-Thurs, and all of Friday, looking after our two lads when I’m not working. I work some evenings most weeks. I share an office with my wife, which is just two minutes from our house, so that’s great and means I’m not in the house being disturbed! Once I’m in to the actual writing of a book I get annoyed with myself if I do less than 4000 words in a day. And if I can, I try and grab a few solid days of intense writing to really crack on. I listen to Doomed on somaFM, which is an internet radio show playing really dark, atmospheric stuff. Though I do often write in total silence. And there’s all the other stuff to do as well like planning ideas, revising synopses, rewriting, editing, thinking about events…

KBW: Have you thought of any actors/actresses as you’ve written the characters, or have anyone in mind that you’d think would suit if given the film treatment?

DG: Directors… Jake West (Evil Alien), Neil Marshall (Dog Soldiers) and Zack Snyder (300). Not forgetting Rob Zombie (Devil’s Rejects). I’d love to see my acting mate, Lex Shrapnel, in a movie of my stuff (he was in various stuff, including K19 The Widowmaker, Thunderbirds, Flyboys and the recent Channel 5 remake of Minder. He’s done stacks of theatre stuff too and is just brilliant and is currently reading The Dead!) Other acting types… Sean Pertwee and Bill Paxton; both are just brilliant.

KBW: What are your favourite horror novels/authors?

DG: This changes a lot I think! Whichever writer I’m reading is my favourite! So it’s better to give the names of those I really rate: Jack Ketchum (The Lost); Gary Braunbeck (Mr Hands); HP Lovecraft (too many to mention!); Clive Barker (The Hellbound Heart); Max Brooks (World War Z);

KBW: What are your favourite horror films/directors?

DG: Films: Suspiria; May; Devil’s Rejects; City of the Dead; Evil Dead; HellRaiser; 30 Days of Night; Black Sabbath; The Shining; The Crow (though is this horror? Don’t know!), Aliens; Event Horizon, Martin… There’s plenty more… far too many, actually. Directors? Well, I’ve named three above, but there’s Dario Argento (hit and miss, I know, but great anyway), Romero, Rob Zombie…

KBW: Have you met Darren Shan? Do you read his work or that of others in this genre, such as Charlie Higson?

DG: Nope, I’ve never met Darren Shan. The only connection we have is that Mel Grant did the covers for Darren’s stuff and The Dead. That’s it! I’m getting lots of “is gatward the new shan” stuff, but I guess that was bound to happen, even though our stuff is very different. I’ve only read Cirque de Freak and Lord Loss. Not checked any of Charlie’s stuff, though I’ve met him briefly at a party and am working with one of his old editors on something completely different to what I’m doing now. I do read others in the genre, but I’m generally reading adult fiction at the minute. Derek Landy is great and definitely worth checking out.

KBW: What scares you?

DG: The thought that I could fail at this and the notion of getting to the end of my life and thinking, ‘If only…’

KBW: What are you most looking forward to at Frightfest this year? What is your involvement there? And have you been going for many years – back to the days of Fantasm on the South Bank perhaps?

DG: In all honesty, just being there will be a total blast and I can’t wait! From what I’ve been told, I’m doing a signing I think, though nothing’s confirmed. This is the first time for me (my mate lex was in a movie that premiered at FrightFest back in the early 2000s) so I’m just pretty stoked about turning up and joining in. Should be a blast.

KBW: Running zombies or slow zombies?

DG: Slow as it builds the tension more on screen. (Everyone should read World War Z by Max Brooks; it’s astonishing.)

KBW: Werewolves or vampires?

DG: I’m tired of vampires. Never really liked them anyway. Always so bothered about how they look, being cool and moody and sexy. Werewolves though; they’re just brutal. So… werewolves it is. American Werewolf and Dog Soldiers? Oh yes… We need more like that. And I’ve an idea knocking around that I might flesh out that’s kind of werewolves. Dunno. But not vampires. Unless it’s 30 Days of Night; loved that. Vampires can be brilliant, but have been kinda damaged by their association with teenagers and their repressed sexuality. Pity.

Many thanks to David for his time for the interview.
I’m looking forward to reading the rest of the series as soon as they are unleashed.

Keith B Walters

DEAD WOOD - by Chris Longmuir

Dead Wood – by Chris Longmuir
(Dundee International Book Prize Winner 2009)
Published by Polygon.

As an extra treat at this year’s Harrogate Crime Writing Festival, I bought a ticket to their ‘Come Dine With Me’ Murder Mystery Dinner, which promised each table hosted by a published crime author.
I was very pleased to find I was part of Caro Ramsay’s sleuthing dinner team, but was also very pleased to find that on the same table was one of the CWA Debut Dagger shortlisted authors, Kathleen Stewart, and sitting right next to me another published author and winner of last year’s Dundee International Book Prize, Chris Longmuir.

As is the case throughout the festival, you never quite know who you’ve started a conversation with (whether an author, fan, blogger, agent or publisher) until someway into the chat. Once I’d discovered that Chris had her book out there, DEAD WOOD, and she found out I was starting to review more on my blog after the festival, she kindly offered to send me a copy.

When it arrived, I was also pleased to see that DEAD WOOD is published by Polygon – the same publisher from whom my previous reviews of Allan Guthrie’s Slammer came – so I already had a fairly good idea that this was going to be a great read.

It was – and a surprising one too. Despite the title, I knew nothing of Chris’s book until it arrived on the doormat and, if I’m honest, I was slightly shocked at tone and subject and language that this mild mannered lovely lady lets loose with on the page (it’s clear that she is in good company with Mr Guthrie).
Chris writes great female characters, victims and cops, but she also writes great villains, dealers, pimps and killers, and her scenes of crime, post mortems and conflicts are all handled very well.
The characters are well-rounded and several could easily be seen to transfer into a possible series should she choose to. And talking of series, I always like cheeky references to other authors to make their characters fictional in the ‘real’ world of a new author’s book, so the reference to a character reading the latest Ian Rankin Rebus book was a nice touch.

The tale itself is set in Dundee amongst the world of prostitution and drugs and a serial killer who is leaving his victims in Templeton Woods, believing them to be required as sacrifices to the trees there. The two crime worlds collide when young mother and prostitute Kara heads out to make money to pay a local gangster, Tony, back a debt owed to him and she finds herself in the woods with the killer’s victims – one of whom is Tony’s own daughter.
The Police investigation is headed up by newcomer to the area, Louise Walker and her team, and their search for the killer and involvement with Kara’s children who are taken into care is all handled with care and skill right through to the closing pages.

My favourite scene in the whole book has to be where a character has spotted the killer within a room and runs screaming away – but it’s a room full of all the possible suspects, leaving the Police and the reader scratching heads as to which one of them it may have been.

An excellent police procedural but a lot more besides – I really hope it’s not long before the next book comes along from Chris. I would certainly buy a copy and would highly recommend DEAD WOOD.

Keith B Walters

'Bye Bye Baby' & 'Slammer' - a double-shot of Allan Guthrie

Last month I attended the Creative Writing Thursday event at Harrogate and was amazed at how much I got out of the day, particularly from the session with Stuart MacBride (whose books I have read for some time) and Allan Guthrie (of whom I had a few of his novels but had only read Kill Clock up until that point.

So, after the event, I was compelled to read some of Allan’s books – someone who teaches crime writing and is an agent for other crime writers has got to be doing something right after all.

My only disappointment was that I had waited so long.

Whilst I enjoyed Kill Clock, it was part of the Most Wanted series of short books aimed at reluctant readers (a category I certainly do not fall into) and now, having read more of Allan’s work I can see where he’d clearly had to rein in his usual style for that project.

First I went with ‘Bye Bye Baby’ a downloadable novella based on a short story he’d written some time before. For a bargain price up it popped on my iphone screen with a great cover image too as a Kindle download.
I also grabbed a copy of his latest novel ‘Slammer’ published by Polygon, and proceeded to read them back to back.

‘Bye Bye Baby’ is a great little book and one where I really wasn’t sure where it was going to lead or at which point it was going to tie up the tale of a woman who has lost here little boy and the cops who are trying to help her. To say too much about the plot would spoil things for a reader but it is full of surprises. As an extra, at the end of the novella there is Allan’s original short story, also excellent in its own right and a clear indication of where he used it as a jumping off point for the longer version. In some ways, I wished I’d read the short story first, maybe with a breather of a few days and then read the longer piece – but that might just be me.

‘Slammer’ is the story of Nick Glass, a prison officer who gets himself caught up in the drug dealing and smuggling for some of the inmates and a spiraling world that starts to fall apart around him when threats are made to his family as he becomes more and more embroiled and trapped in the dangerous game he has started to play.
It features some very brutal sequences and Guthrie puts his characters through some high levels of damage – something that he appears to like doing in both books to an extent.
He hurts his characters, characters the reader has strongly connected with, then he pulls back for a short while before delivering more brutal punches in physical, mental and psychological forms. Then, when you think you can risk pausing for breath, when you think you’re there at a likely conclusion, he comes back with his hands reaching out to pull the rug out from underneath his characters and from his readers.

If the sample of Mr Guthrie’s work that I’ve read to date is any indication of the body of work as a whole, then I’ll be seeking out his other novels very soon indeed.

Keith B Walters

Soul Murder - Daniel Blake - Thou Shalt Kill.....

SOUL MURDER by Daniel Blake

Published by Harper

Daniel Blake is a man of mystery, both in his life and in his fiction. His work in the past for Control Risks, dealing with kidnap negotiation amongst other things, is presumably what lead to the fact that when he speaks about his first novel online his eyes are obscured by a black bar.
It was rumoured he might be at this year’s Harrogate Crime Writing Festival and I was on the lookout for this mystery author, but it transpired that he wasn’t in attendance (or was he?).

If it’s possible for Daniel to step out from his hiding place, it would be a good thing. This debut crime novel, weighing in at over 550 pages of tightly woven plotting, is reason enough that he should step forward, even if briefly before ducking back into the shadows, to take a bow.

I loved this book.
It is full of rounded, and in most cases, likeable characters – most of which I’d like to read again in future books if this is to be first of series.
The duo of Pittsburgh Detectives, Franco Patrese and Mark Beradino were written in a way that after just a few chapters I felt that I’d known them for a lot longer, a sign of good characterisation and mannerisms being captured very early on.
Pittsburgh provides a great setting and, if I can say so without it sounding too cliché, a great character in itself. Was nice to have Pittsburgh as backdrop to something other than the living dead for a change.

The plot is very involved and gripping, from the initial murders and potential killers through to a range of interesting subplots and other themes, so many in fact that I feared that the author would struggle to tie everything up satisfactorily by the end of the novel. But, he does so, even adding a few extra twists towards the end which I had little clue were coming.

The subjects tackled are all carefully trodden, from a woman who may have been responsible for the death of three of her babies to medical negligence, religious abuse and Muslim terrorist plots – and the story could easily have taken any one of its strong story strands through to the end of a good book.
Instead, Blake chooses to take them all, grasp them tightly and run with all of them through to the end of a very satisfying and gripping crime thriller debut.
A great summer holiday read.

Keith B Walters

The VW Campervan Experience

........QUICK BREAK FROM THE USUAL CRIME FICTION STUFF TO MENTION ANOTHER PASSION............

We’d been a family of VW Campervan fans for some time, but finally took the plunge to hire one recently for a few days to feed that passion.

Tuesday 10.45am
We arrived to collect ‘Dharma’ a very good looking metallic blue/green 1971 Bay from Darren at Drivemycamper.com in Smallfield in Surrey.
We were given the run-down on all the controls – those that functioned or were necessary anyhow – whilst the children played with his lovely dog, Toffee.
Darren had called me a few days before to let me know there was a ‘hot-start’ problem with Dharma, so the engine would need cooling time before restarting – but as we were not planning lots of stops, we decided to take the risk as otherwise the whole plan would have been scuppered as all his other three campers were already out on hire.
During the description of the controls and the run-through of the do’s and don’ts I lost count of how many times problems, or potential problems, were described as ‘all part of the VW Camper experience’.

With a parting comment that the last renter nearly ended up in the duckpond at the end of the driveway, we were on our way – stalling before the end of the road, after ten minutes of trying to locate any of Dharma’s four gears!
Fortunately I was able to fight the giant steering wheel (I normally drive a little Vauxhall Zafira and wasn’t used to being able to rest my elbows on the wheel) to avoid the duckpond on the way out.

We’d decided that, for the first day, we wouldn’t attempt too much mileage – so chose Brighton as our destination – specifically the Marina area – in the hope that parking would be easier – so only 32 miles to achieve to get there.
I knew that the driving would be different from my Zafira (now safely locked away in Drivemycamper.com’s storage unit), but I had no idea just how different it would be.

Within moments I missed my power steering, responsive disc brakes and the acceleration when needed. I also missed electric windows when needing to hurriedly wind down a window for a hand signal when I thought the indicators might not be working (they were, by the way).
The one thing we all thought we’ miss the most we actually did without very comfortably – the sheer ‘cool’ feeling of driving a campervan must, in some way, reduce the need for air conditioning!

Once on the open road Dharma handled well, but had to be kept in check by more subtle steering wheel fighting than I think the rest of the family were aware of.
It was only as we approached the Marina at Brighton that the realisation that ‘stopping’ and ‘maneouvering’ were soon to be required again, and my palms became clammy at the thought.

Avoiding the mutli-storey car park – not wanting to become ‘roof-less’, we settled on a space in the far corner of the Asda car park and, after ten minutes of trying to find the key that locked the driver’s door (there were only 2 keys but they seemed to have a major identity crisis as to which lock they served) we were off to explore the Marina and its shops.

We returned about an hour and a half later, put the table up inside and sat in the camper to have our lunch.
Dharma was equipped with a full cooker/sink/fridge set-up, but for our first trip we’d decided we’d stick to picnic lunches to keep things easier and tidier – we’ve been known to burn salads!

I was exhausted from the new driving experience, but the rest of the family were desperate to hit the beach and the pier – so, we loaded up to set off up the road.
It was only then that my parking spot choice proved to have been less than clever. A large bollard in front of me and the most elusive reverse gear I have ever found – when I did eventually find it.

We parked up for the second time miles from the beach, to ensure space in front and behind the camper so we’d be able to get out easier later in the day and, after another ten minutes of key juggling (and yes, there were still just two keys to choose from) we set off on a very long walk to the pier and the beach for a few hours.

We returned with VW postcards and notebooks found in the beach giftshops and spied our first fellow campervan (parked opposite) of our trip – bizarrely, we never saw another one on the road during our whole three days of travelling!
So, we were happy, tired, and ready to set off back home for the night.
And it was at this point that both keys decided they would not open the driver’s door.
We’d already been advised that the passenger door and sliding door needed to be unlatched from inside and so, as far as I was concerned, we were stuffed and stuck in Brighton. Even the AA card was grinning about it (from the inside of the windscreen!).
I paced round the campervan and then an idea struck – if I could get the barndoor above the engine open then I could try to climb in from the back and climb through to unlatch the doors.
But I didn’t want to break Dharma’s nice white bumpers and, besides, I have an adventurous ten year old daughter – so, after a bit more key juggling – I posted my daughter into the back so that she could climb inside and unlock all the doors -Job done!
Then a fifty five mile ride home to park her outside our home to be the envy of our neighbours for a night – but not on our sloping driveway for fear that the handbrake might not be as strong as it should be.

Weds 28th July

We loaded up and set off to the most local garage to home to fill up with fuel before risking the ‘hot-start’ problem.
The guy at the garage looked admiringly at Dharma as I paid for the fuel and I told him he might get to look at her really closely if she didn’t start as he’d have to help me push her off his forecourt. But, she behaved just fine and we set off to my Mum & Dad’s in Beltinge, near Herne Bay (70 miles) and did the trip in only about fifteen minutes longer than it normally takes in the Zafira.
When we arrived, as the plan was to sleep in the campervan there, I located the reverse gear once again and roared her onto the driveway and then we stacked slabs and a stone tortoise in front of the wheels (just in case!).
Then, after a quick tour of Dharma’s facilities to Mum & Dad, we had lunch and then set off for a long afternoon walk to Herne Bay, along the beach, a trip to the arcades and a fish and chip feast at Pete’s Fish Bar on the front.
After the long walk back, we popped open Dharma’s roof and folded down the two top bunks before lifting both the children up into them for a trial run.
Unfortunately, within seconds, both had decided that sleeping that high up scared them and so it was decided that sleeping in the house was probably best for all concerned. So, yes, we all wimped-out at the actual ‘camping’ part of the deal.

Thursday 28th July

We set off early into Herne Bay and got fuelled up to the maximum ready for the journey back to Smallfield to return Dharma.
She started first time, every time and, once again, gave us a good journey (although I did find Detling Hill’s descent down its winding road a little unnerving without the response of power steering and the brakes I am used to!).
Half an hour from Drivemycamper.com’s location we called to let Darren so he had time to get there to meet us.
We gauged our arrival time just right to enable us to get plenty more photos of us with Dharma (of which there are loads!) before handing her keys back.

After a quick handover and collection of our own car, we were on our way again – feeling worryingly low and in a car who’s steering responses and brakes seemed no to be on hairtriggers compared to the last few days’ driving.
Darren did comment that he would have stayed fairly close to the van storage area himself (straying no more than say 30 miles from there, in case of any problems for a first time user) – we’d clearly taken a good gamble in our Herne Bay trip but all had gone absolutely fine.
Besides, if anything had gone wrong – that’d ‘all be part of the VW Camper experience’, right?!

Keith B Walters

Old Peculier Crime Writing Festival Harrogate 2010

Theakston Old Peculier Crime Writing Festival Harrogate 2010.

It had been five years since my last visit to this, the biggest and best crime writing festival in the UK, so I was overjoyed to find that my lovely parents had treated me to a full pass for the whole event this year as my 40th Birthday present.

I set off from home for the four and a half hour drive on the Wednesday before the event, so that I was guaranteed a good night’s sleep the evening before the first events. This worked out great as I succeeded in getting a great parking spot directly at the front of the fantastic venue, The Crown Hotel, and was also in time for a quick walk into town and a Wetherspoon’s before 5pm fish and chips special, washed down with a cup of Harrogate tea.

I had a place next morning on the Creative Thursday Crime Writing workshops, so retired to my room early and worked my novel pitch over and over to get it down to the two minutes I might be given to try to sell my idea to a panel at the Dragons’ Pen event at the end of the day. So, it didn’t end up being quite as early a night as I’d intended.


Thurs.
I woke early and was in the breakfast hall for 7am – knowing that if I didn’t rise at first alarm, there was no wife or children to kick me from my bed.
I bumped into novelist, agent and my tutor for the morning, Allan Guthrie, in the reception area and told him I’d be quiet and sit at the back – to which he responded that he didn’t want any of that sort of behaviour in his class!
Class started at 9am, after a coffee, registration and an introduction by Allan Guthrie and this year’s festival chair, Stuart MacBride.
We were separated into two groups for the tuition sessions, and my first two hour session was Character, Narrative & Voice with Mr Guthrie & Mr MacBride, whilst the second half of the group were off to learn Suspense with American thriller writer, Joseph Finder.
I have attended crime writing classes in the past, but this was the most professionally structured and insightful one I have ever sat in on. Stuart MacBride’s comment that he never wanted to see any of us back in his workshop again because he wanted us all to become writers was a great thing to hear in the opening moments.
Between them they ran a tight ship, with the whole session carefully timed with mobile phone alarms and laptop timeline ensuring that they covered every element and every exercise that wanted to cover within the two hours.
Allan Guthrie’s Skeleton-hook formula to form the basis of your story or pitch in just three or four lines was a superb tool and I took the opportunity to hang my own pitch onto it and presented it as the first one to speak up, just to get it out of my system. I think Stuart realised this as he asked how I felt afterwards and if it felt cathartic to say it out loud - it did!
I was very impressed with just how much I got out of just two hours in that room and how many pages of my notebook I filled with scenes and information that could easily be used in future work.

We then took a brief break for coffee and then both groups came together again for a DIY Research presentation on Forensics by three of the most respected experts working in their fields, Dave Barclay, James Grieve and Lorna Dawson from the Macaulay Institute.
It was an insightful, if sometimes disturbing, couple of hours which in the main took the form of a Q&A session, giving us the chance to ask about forensic details for our own projects, whilst being advised on real case situations and events. It was a fine line between fiction and fact being walked during the two hours and whilst much of it was done with great humour, I couldn’t get away from the fact that these three people have to deal with real life horrors such as Fred & Rosemary West’s victims and the murders in Soham village.

Then it was straight from that talk to the lunch hall (trying to clean my head of the nastier bits on the way there).

After lunch, the groups split again and my group joined thriller writer Joseph Finder (probably best known for his novel High Crimes which became an Ashley Judd/Morgan Freeman movie and features the author himself in five scenes - must rent it again to see if I can spot him) to analysis what ‘suspense’ means and how it is conveyed in classic thrillers.
In groups of three we worked through sections of Marathon Man, Eye of the Needle and The Silence of the Lambs – selecting the words and techniques used to rack up the tension and the suspense in each. We spent a lot of time on these sections and then were tasked with writing our own suspenseful scene based on attending a crime writing class and discovering that one of our own number was the legendary ‘Harrogate Hacker’ – which led to some fun and suspenseful writing.

And then, at the close of the Creative Thursday event, we were all brought together by Mark Billingham and introduced to the Dragons of the Dragons’ Pen, before he started to pull names from the ‘victims’ box.
The Dragons in question were Julia Wisdom (Publisher, HarperCollins), Daniel Mallory (Editorial Director, Little Brown Book Group), Peter Robinson (Agent, Rogers, Coleridge & White) and Jane Gregory (Agent, Gregory & Co.) – who Mark Billingham introduced as the bastard child of Bodicea and Simon Cowell!
They had about an hour and a half to run through as many 2 minute pitches and questions and comments as time would allow, and I think they got through around twelve in total.
Unfortunately, mine was not one of the names pulled from the box, but it was a very interesting session to sit in on, to see the different techniques and approaches and to note that, in several cases, it was the background of a writer or some past experience that added substantial weight to their pitch.
Although in the details of the event we were advised that if more than one Dragon expressed interest then they would ‘fight’ to get the right to read the first chapters and synopsis, the reality was that I many cases the successful pitchers had to submit work to more than one of the Dragons after the event – several to three of the four and at least one to all four of them!

We were then all invited to a reception by Alibi – the crime television channel – to celebrate their new line-up and for them to award their prize of ebook reader and other goodies to the winner of their crime-writing competition. A few glasses of red later it was time to rush back to my hotel room for a quick change and back downstairs to the opening night festival party (yes, all the previous was before the event had even officially opened!) and the awards ceremony for The Theakstons Old Peculier Crime Novel of the Year.

It was at this point that I was pleased to find some fellow members of Mark Billingham’s forum (The BTZ) had arrived – great to see those I’d met before and to meet some new faces and match them to their on screen avatars. This was a continuing challenge over the weekend and something I didn’t accomplish as much as I had wished – but was great to put faces to those names on screen to as many fellow tweeters as possible too.

The awards event was laced with humour as ever and presented by Radio Four’s Front Row man, Mark Lawson. One instance that led to lots of in-jokes was the recent disclosure that Tania Carver who had her first novel in the shortlist was actually Martyn Waites writing with his wife. Many seemed disappointed that Martyn didn’t frock-up for the awards – I was not amongst that number.
Mark Lawson introduced us to slides of his dog (Psychic Fred), as he doesn’t own a psychic octopus like the one used during the world cup, and showed that on the previous Saturday Fred had selected from the eight shortlisted books on his patio the one he thought would win.
Each author then took to the stage to say a bit about their book and to collect a tankard before the winner was announced – RJ Ellory – and, amazingly, he’d been the author selected by Psychic Fred at the beginning of the presentation – so Mark Lawson rushed off to phone his kids to get him to pick some lottery numbers!
The evening also gave the most moving speech of the whole weekend as Reginald Hill (creator of the Dalziel & Pascoe series as well as many great stand-alone novels) was presented with a special award for his contribution to crime writing – what a lovely and humorous man.
So, that was Thursday’s events – following which most did a sideways shuffle towards the bar area. I lasted a while longer, but not as long as some – it had been a very long and enjoyable day one and there were still three more days to come….

Friday.
Up early, breakfast and into the hall for Christopher Brookmyre at 9am giving a hilarious talk about his life and his books, and in particular the language he uses and the problems it sometimes causes.
He told of a time where he was called up about the fifty ‘F’ words he’d used in a novel draft that he was told was too many. When he asked how many he could have he was told fifteen would be okay – so he assumes there is a percentage within our society who are somehow tripped over the edge at the sound of a sixteenth utterance of the ‘F’ word. He then went on to say that it might cause a black market amongst writers, where they trade unused ‘F’ words if they don’t need fifteen of them in a book and that some may not want to trade ‘F’s because they are ‘saving up ‘ for a ‘C’ word!
Loved his talk and rushed to the Waterstones bookshop afterwards to grab his new novel, Pandaemonium, and got it signed.
10.30am and Bateman (who has recently dropped Colin from his book jackets, he thinks because his publishers think if you squint you might think it’s a Batman book), Jason Goodwin, Robert Lewis and Caro Ramsay took to the stage to represent their individual areas of the Britain under the supervision of American envoy and peacekeeper Joseph Finder. All good banter and fun.
12 noon and it was Knitting Needles at Dawn with Simon Brett keeping Simon Kernick, MC Beaton, Tony Black and LC Tyler in check as they discussed their different styles of writing from bleak psychotic tales to fluffy cosies and everything in between.
Quick break for another great Hotel lunch and then back to the seats for Togas, Gas Masks, Neon and Ray Guns with Laura Wilson chairing discussion between authors who write in the past and the future; RS Downie, Paul Johnston, Richard Morgan and SJ Parris. Discussions ranged from how characters in ancient times should speak in novels to how much of a liberty can be taken with writing about the future when scientific advances seem to be progressing at such a rapid pace.
At 3.30pm the three Forensic experts from my previous day’s writing class took to the stage to analyse passages from new books by Ann Cleeves and Mark Billingham. This resulted in Mark throwing a proof copy of his new novel across the stage when told he’d got one element of detail wrong – not a lot he can do about it as it hits the shelves in less than 4 weeks, but it’s not anything that will affect anyone’s enjoyment of the book.
At 5pm there was a special event to celebrate 120 years of Agatha Christie – and this caused the biggest queues so far – heading round the hotel and through the revolving door and into the car park. Sad to say that I gave this one a miss (the only event I didn’t attend) as I worried it would overrun and I had a ticket for the Crime Writers Association Awards at 6pm, which I didn’t want to miss. So, at least it gave me shower and coffee time!
6pm – The CWA Dagger Awards. (or the case of the missing Champagne….) Other than the fact that the Champagne at this Champagne Reception appeared to be absent (but there was plenty of wine on hand), this was a great event where members of the CWA gathered to present five awards. The ‘big’ awards are held over until the ITV/Specsavers show that’s televised later in the year, but this was still a good insight into the CWA and nice to see current Chair Tom Harper (a previous Debut Dagger award winner) presenting this year’s winner, Patrick Eden, with his award. Was nice to discover that many of my fellow Creative Thursday classmates were also up for the Debut Dagger award - clearly a room brimming with talent.
8pm and it was time to attend a great face to face conversation between two giants of crime writing, who remarkably lived only about seven miles from each other as kids – must be something in the water up there. Ian Rankin and Val McDermid chatted candidly about their upbringing, their books and their characters for an hour, with plenty of funny anecdotes and no signs of the disagreement stirred up by the press a few years back about Rankin supposedly making comment about the excessive violence that seemed prevalent in books written by lesbian crime writers.
At 10pm it was time for the Late Night Cabaret – and Cluedo by any other name, with two teams (Jeff Lindsay & Michael Robotham vs Stuart MacBride & Mark Billingham) chaired by Mark Lawson and his plot ‘complicator’ wheel. The game was for each team to select a victim, weapon and location from envelopes and then create an undetectable murder.
I felt sorry for American Lindsay and Australian Robotham as they had a disadvantage in not knowing who victims such as Ant & Dec, Jordan or Richard Hammond were – something that gave the British team a head start on the best or most humorous methods of dispatch. But, it wasn’t about points of course, all played for great laughs.
Once the cabaret was over I took lead from a fellow BTZ’er who I spied grabbing book signings in and around the bar, so I went to my room and grabbed some books.

I had a great chat with Peter James (discovering he went to the same college as me and talking about warming up cockroaches for film scenes amongst other things) and the slightly-damaged-by-the-cabaret Michael Robotham.
Things are a little blurry after the final events each day (for some reason I can’t figure) but I think it was also on the Friday evening that I met Vincent from Un:Bound’s website as well and had a brief chat before meeting the other members Adele and Katherine the following day.
It must have been a good night – Ali Karim of Shots was still tweeting that I was in the bar with him and others a good hour after I’d retired to my room, so my other self was clearly having a great time too.

Saturday
9am – Joanne Harris took to the stage to talk about her new book, blueeyedboy, which sounds like an intriguing premise and a scary tale of the internet - will have to seek that one out.
10.30am – Putting the boot in – With Ray Banks (who seems a lot more approachable than anyone would have you believe, Charlie Williams (who did his best to steer his character away from the real-life recent actions of Raoul Moat), Stella Duffy and Craig Russell – chaired by Martyn Waites. This panel centred on the reasons behind authors of crime novels seemingly wanting to increasingly damage their characters both mentally and physically.
12 noon – New Blood – always a good event to hear new writers talk about their first books, although one on the panel this year, Stuart Neville, actually already has two novels (The Twelve and Collusion) out there on the shelves and a third coming soon. He was joined by Belinda Bauer (whose superb BlackLands was a TV Book Club choice), Attica Locke and Liam McIlvanney, and chaired by Val McDermid. It’s always clear from the New Blood events that publishing success might have a large element of luck in it, but a heck of a lot of hard work too.
Quick lunch break and then back for How Dark is your Noir at 2pm, chaired by Barry Forshaw and featuring Karen Rose, Peter James, Christopher Fowler and Steve Mosby. A great discussion about the blurring of the lines between horror and dark crime fiction.
3.30pm and it was time for ‘No, I’m Ian Rankin’ where Ian Rankin was faced with four possible contenders to the Rankin crown; Paul Cleave, Allan Guthrie, Alex Gray and Chris Simms. The best line of this panel went to Rankin himself when he said he’d bought a book that said ‘As good as Ian Rankin or your money back’ and he sent a letter saying he didn’t think it was as good as him and he got a cheque back!
5.00pm Britannia Rules the Page.
Joseph Finder (US), Michael Robotham (Aus), Chris Carter (Brazil) and James Twining (UK) went head to head in a conversation about where classic crime fiction goes back to and which country had the best lineage. Chaired by NJ Cooper who kept fairly true to her promise to remain impartial it was an entertaining dispute despite them feeling the need for Finder to sport an NY Yankees baseball cap and, more shocking, that Twining felt the need to wear a union jack outfit under his suit that even Geri Halliwell might have said no to.
At 6pm those that had chosen to participate in a extra event (me included) took to the main dining area for Come Die with Me, a murder mystery meal with a published author heading each table whilst a small band of other crime writers acted out a short murder mystery for us to solve.
I was very pleased to find I was on Caro Ramsay’s table, so got the chance to get my copy of Absolution signed, along with the copy of her new novel Dark Water that everyone at her table was given a copy of.
Mark Billingham was fictionally bumped off at the beginning of the meal and then we had to ignore that he was clearly alive and well and eating at the table behind us whilst the potential murderers (Chris Simms, Paul Johnston, Stella Duffy and Laura Wilson) gave their statements.
We managed to fail miserably at guessing the murderer’s identity but it was pretty good fun and a good meal nevertheless.
The meal overran and I was worried that I would miss the beginning of the next special guest spot in the main hall, but when we left the dining hall the queue for Karin Slaughter to be interviewed by Mark Billingham was still very long and winding its way into the room.
I had already passed Karin in the car park and had shared a lift when she arrived, so had to ensure I got the copy of her latest novel, Broken, signed after the event as my good lady is one of her biggest fans.
It was an entertaining and very honest conversation between the two writers, revealing quite a lot about Slaughter’s past – who’d have thought she was an exterminator for a few months with a surname like that?

Afterwards, at the book signing, I told her I was hoping to be the UK signmaker who became a crimewriter, as that was her previous business. She seemed impressed with this and the fact that I knew what was meant by the ‘Kisscut’ of her second novel’s title.

So, with Mrs W’s Karin Slaughter book signed, I could relax again, and how better to do that then with the Late Night Quiz with our hosts Val McDermid and Stuart MacBride?
There was a particularly Scottish feel to the whole proceedings (no real surprise there) but it did add to the humour when trying to identify classic tv theme tunes such as Cagney & Lacey played on the bagpipes. The charades round was also great fun, as was the match the photos of dogs to their crimewriting owners – a round which led to one of our team casually asking Mark Billingham whilst washing his hands in the gents if he happened to own a dog – it gave us a point, but we needed a lot more than that to get anywhere near the top spot against some of the stiff opposition we had from other teams.
The cup was taken by the first place winning team headed up by Jane Gregory.
And then we all slid our way back in the general direction of the bar once again for more chat, more book signings and more drink (of course). Despite all the things that had taken place so far, it was still hard to believe that this was the final night of the festival already. If one thing was lacking (for someone who attended all but one of the events) it was the time to see more of the people there – the thirty minutes between each event just allowed enough time for leaving the hall, a quick toilet break or a coffee (rarely time for both), a quick hello to two or three people and then it was back into the queue to go back in the hall again.
But, having said all that, it’s still so much better organised than other festivals I’ve been to where events take place in different rooms at the same time. At least with Harrogate, if you want to take it all in (as I did) then you can, without missing anything but some barfly time.

Sunday
The organisers had thoughtfully gone for a 10am start for the last morning, giving enough time to breakfast and to get the room cleared of clothes and books and into the car ready for departure later in the morning, and some time for a few headaches to ease, I’m sure.
First of the two Sunday panels was ‘James Bond, Eat your Heart Out…’ hosted by Meg Gardiner and featuring Sean Black, Jeremy Dunns, Zoe Sharp and Jo Nesbo.

Discussion was about where we go for the next thrill, now that the Bond franchise looks like it needs a good kick into the new world as most of us now own the technology, previously only used by spies, in our pockets.
Good fun discussion as with all the panels and a great and well attended signing session followed in the bookshop.
And so we came to the final event of this year’s festival, 11.30am and it was time for ‘Double Jefferdy’, with Mark Lawson chairing an excellent discussion with Jeffrey Deaver and Jeff Lindsay about crime writing in general and more specifically to their series characters (Lincoln Rhyme and Dexter Morgan) and to the latest novels to feature them (The Burning Wire and Dexter is Delicious).

The plots of both new novels and the extracts read sounded great, with a villain creating electricity surges and bolts of energy from the power lines in Deaver’s latest and Dexter becoming a Dad and seeking people who believe they are vampires which leads to elements of cannibalism in Lindsay’s latest.
Then, like all good things, it was over – it was time to queue for the last signings of the festival, cast casual waves to those we could see leaving the reception or getting into their cars to head off home and to send emails and messages when we got back to all of those we didn’t get a chance to say goodbye to, or even get to catch up with at all during the busy, fun packed days spent in Harrogate.

I remember the buzz I had in 2004 when I attended just an afternoon and the following morning’s events and that made me desperate to go to every event in 2005, which I did.
Circumstances meant that I haven’t made it back for five years but thanks to my lovely family I was able to this year. It’s credit to all of the authors that take part, the fans that attend and to the fantastic organisation by Sharon Canavar and her team with the great sponsorship by Theakstons (who have agreed to sponsor the event for the next five years!) that make Harrogate the best Crime Writing Festival in the UK and, from what was said this year, likely in the world.
Keith B Walters